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Here are a couple of my favorite baseball related quotes.

From Dave Barry:
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infants's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base."

From Ed Lynch, former Mets Pitcher:
"The bases were drunk and I painted the black with my best yakker, but Blue squeezed me and I went full. I came back with my heater, but the stick flares on the other way and chalk flies for two bases. Three earnies! Next thing I know, skipper hooks me and I'm sippin' suds with the clubby."